Love Yourself First

Not too long ago I posted about celibacy and dating, soon after I began to think… I feel that women want security, love, and closure from a man to feel happy, validated, and complete in life. Not that those things are wrong for wanting but I just don’t think that a woman should put all her hopes, dreams and focus on a man to make her feel whole.
Shortly after I was at Bible study and I made an announcement. I am now a Bride of Christ! (Not really, I am not Catholic nor do I live in a convent, but using the same concept) I have decided that I’m going to be in a committed relationship with myself and Jesus. I do not feel like dating is good for me right now. I need to find myself and who I am, without a man defining me. I would like to go on journeys alone to rediscover the things that make ME happy. I need to be so secure with ME so the next time a male does come along and I find interest in him I know that I will not compromise or cut myself short just in fear of losing a “good catch”.  Not only will I find myself, I will be moving closer to God. I need to be in a committed relationship with Him until I feel I am ready to start one on my own. This is sort of like a fast lol, so I know I will need to call on Jesus more on certain days like Valentine’s day or birthdays, whatever the occasion, I am sure I will have my low days. Like with all fasts, the devil will swoop in and tempt us usually it’s with chocolate or a hamburger but in my case I am sure it will be man hahaha. With that being said I will be forced to delevop a strong relationship with God (no complaints here).
Since I am a woman and we love to shop lol, I have  also went out and bought myself an engagement (aka my new abstinence) ring. Some women want the ring more than the guy or the relationship hahaha,  I guess it’s okay in my case. I will also be taking myself on a mini vacation or staycation as well as dates. I know all of this sounds corny but it’s what I want to do with myself to make myself feel validated and loved by ME and not by another person. We expect men to do it for us all the time, why not treat yourself? This post is NOT a “Anti Men”,  “Male Bashing”,  “Pro Feminist I don’t need a man I am a business woman” type of post, it is simply about loving yourself first. If there are any women out there going through a similar journey please comment below and tell me how it’s going. Until next time…
xoxo
the Christinista

A picture of my new ring

James 1:2

In 2014 dating can be a bit challenging. Add celibacy to the mix and it’s pretty much like trying to see a shooting star. Unfortunately in this over sexed world we live in, intimacy isn’t quite so intimate anymore. This post is coming hot off the grill in my life lol. Recently I met a man, things were going pretty good and then the inevitable questions started to come up. S-E-X !!! I told him I was abstaining from sex until marriage. He became quiet (over the phone), I then knew where this was going…. or wasn’t going. I opted to end the call and told him if I hear from him again cool. If I didn’t that was fine too. Soon after he texted me his “I am a man with sexual needs” speech. And I was okay with it. I will not compromise on my morals or values for anyone anymore. When I started this journey to meet my husband to be I knew it would be a hard one, that is why I told myself to never settle regardless. I am looking to get married and I feel me letting these men know up front what I’m looking for is a great way to do the process of elimination. I know my husband is out there and he will accept me for me and sex will not be a matter to him until marriage if he truly loves me and God. My main reasoning for this post….  If there’s someone out there especially young women, I ask you to please look at yourself in the mirror, tell yourself you are beautiful and you’re worth more. Do not settle regardless of what is at “stake”. Being single can suck but self love is the most important kind of love. You will never know how to love someone else if you don’t first love yourself. The Bible says your body is a temple and its time we treat it like so. This past recent incident reminds me of James 1:2-4, God wants us perfect so sometimes we are tested in many ways, it’s up to you if you pass or not…. Until next time guys… Have a good evening
Xo the Christinista